Tag Archives: Youth Ministry

Now This is Relevant (Humor)


“Today, we would like to welcome our new youth pastor…”


Posted by on October 19, 2012 in Uncategorized


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Young Pastors Know More Than Grumpy Old Men (Humor)


Man on telephone:  Pastor, I know I am an old & grumpy man who has been in the ministry for 45 years and I know that you being 35 years old and in the ministry for 3 years obviously know much more than I, but do you really think it is wise to plant tares in this field along side the wheat?

Moral: Young people know so little but are convinced they know it all! Hurry, cure all of the world’s ills, young people, while you still know everything because in a few years you will mature enough to realize you never really knew anywhere near as much as you thought…


Posted by on August 18, 2011 in Uncategorized


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Young, Restless, & Reformed Beer Tantrum (Satire)

Listen to me! I know everything! You cannot evangelize without beer! You are grumpy and old if you don’t agree with me…  Apologize to me for pointing out my immature & inconsistent lifestyle choices… Wah, Wah, Wah.

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Posted by on August 18, 2011 in Uncategorized


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Welcome to the Emergent Church

Welcome to the Emergent Church. Trust us, we’re almost right about several Biblical issues…

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Posted by on August 4, 2011 in Uncategorized


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The Emergent Bakery (Satire)

The Emergent Bakery (Satire) by Wallace Revels      
Guy: I would like a muffin, please, do you have any?
Emergent Baker: One can never be sure…
Guy: Do you have a banana nut muffin?
Emergent Baker: That sounds a little dogmatic to ask if I have one. I prefer to have a conversation about muffins.
Guy: Uh, you sell muffins, right?
Emergent Baker: We provide an atmosphere where people can safely explore whether they can perceive if muffins exist without the ridicule and legalism of the traditional bakery.
Guy: Do you know how to make muffins…do you have a cookbook?
Emergent Baker: I prefer to meditate about the ingredients that make up a holistic muffin in my mind’s eye. We do not use that old, outdated, tradition-steeped cookbook used by the irrelevant traditional bakers. We prefer the Purpose Driven Chef and Your Best Baking Now. These offer much less restrictions to our sense of self expression in the kitchen. They also boost our sense of self-importance.
Guy: Look, spaceman, do you have a muffin or not?
Emergent Baker: That is not the real question. The real question is how to meet your felt need of desiring a muffin. We have found that replacing the tired old order & serve process with drama, relevant FM-type radio music, and impressive-looking teenage bakers calms the customers and keeps them coming back.
Guy: Coming back for what? I need something to eat!
Emergent Baker: There you go again. Your mentality is the reason why most traditional bakeries have gone out of business.
Guy: Never mind, I will get a pack of crackers at the office… A bakery that doesn’t bake is worthless!

Posted by on August 15, 2010 in Uncategorized


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Are Emergents Actually Christian?

Someone needs to ask this question so I suppose the Truthinator will be the one who does. Are adherents to the Emergent Church concept actually Christian? Hold the phone, Emergents, because I know you guys are ready to pounce with the oh so predictable, “Don’t judge lest ye be judged” gem. 

Here is why I ask this question. The hallmark of the Emergent situation is people do not like, appreciate, or connect to traditional Christianity. These people want hip music, stylistic interpretation rather than expository preaching, calming monologues in a performance vein rather than pulpit-pounding, erudite ego stroking rather than the conviction that comes from learning what the word of God says and etc.

Don’t deny it because you know it is true. Where is the proof? Look in the mirror. Ask yourself if this is true. You know that it is. Read the books and blogs from the Emergent gurus. Emergents want a more user friendly and inclusive community gathering instead of fellowship in Christ’s suffering. 

The reason I ask whether Emergents are really Christian is that most if not all of the driving force factors that build the Emergent movement are contrary to what the Bible says that God is and what He demands.  Keep reading.

Here are just a few but enough to cause serious consideration of my thesis.      1) Jesus – Sometimes he is heralded by Emergents but never as the Christ of the Bible. He is “JC”, “Rad Dude Jesus”, “Breakdancing Jesus”, or several others of a variety of fictitious manifestations. Even the Emergents who actually talk Jesus give Him attributes He doesn’t actually maintain and take away unpalatable ones (in their eyes) that are true.

 2) All inclusiveness – Everyone goes to Heaven regardless of what they believe or there is not even a Heaven at all and everyone dies and are gone from existence. Both of these ideas are common in Emergent “thinking” but neither are true because neither are found in the Bible.

3) This is the final point I will mention here but there are others. The Bible is not believed by ANY of the Emergents (do some research and you will find drift or even exodus from core Bible truth). Emergents replace, twist, spin, delete, and insert Bible teachings. All of which are prohibited by the Bible. I am not talking about disagreeing on gray areas such as exactly when the rapture of the Church will occur. I am speaking of items such as atonement, Christology, Soteriology, creation, Heaven, Hell, the reality of God, and so forth.

When people do not believe such foundational truths, they cannot be classified as belonging to that group who do believe. This is very simple. Let me give a quick example then I am out of here. Let’s say my neighbor claims to be an avid tennis player. I see him dressed in tennis clothes and carrying a racquet many times per week. Once at the courts, however, he doesn’t play tennis but plays cards with friends instead. Looking the part does not define the person.

The Bible defines several things about those who are called of God into eternal salvation.  A few of these include  falling upon Jesus as their only hope, changing to become new creatures (over time) in their inner beliefs and outward behavior, and producing lifestyle outcomes that resemble what the Bible teaches about the character and nature of God Himself.

Are Emergents actually Christian? Some may be but I am doubtful that many if any true Christians could stay in an environment that does not believe God’s word or truly worship Him. While it is above everyone’s paygrade to determine the validity of a person’s claim of belonging, the Bible is very clear that not all who make this claim actually belong. I encourage you to read up on what the Emergents believe. It will take some time but this is of vital importance. This movement is sweeping the country and many Emergents are influencing our young people daily. Counter error with truth; it is the only way.


Posted by on June 2, 2010 in Uncategorized


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Is Christian Radio Still Christian? part 2

Is Christian Radio Still Christian?  part 2

Last time, we briefly discussed what is apparently a new trend in America: Christian Radio that plays music and chit-chats about everything except Christ…

Ok. Like I said last time, I am not against heavily stylized music played on the radio because teens like this kind of music and I like some of it as well. I don’t want to hear it on Sunday morning in the worship service but that is another story…

I must admit, however, that only some of it is great in sound and lyrical quality. A clear message can sometimes be heard. The majority of the music, not so much. Just noise with a “He’s awesome” thrown in. Who is the He? That is my real sticking point with the Christian rock music. When the “He” never gets defined, everyone can conveniently mold their own golden calf…  

I heard a short ad on Way FM this morning where they were encouraging callers to leave a voicemail about how God has changed their lives. Ok. I hope God is changing the lives of young people but it sure ain’t happening due to Way FM! There is no message of any sort to be found there! When the sum total of your theology is songs that say “God is love, He is awesome”, you are not communicating anything of any value. “Love” and “awesome” will mean many different things to different people because there has not been a definition given.

Do you like knockwurst? Well, if I have never had knockwurst but I sincerely believed that knockwurst is lamchops and I like lambchops then my answer would be yes; however, the question is not about lambchops, its about knockwurst… 

Once we got to the place in America where we became afraid to talk about the Bible and JESUS and God’s rules and regs, His sovereignty, and His grace…we went bankrupt and lost the ability to do God’s work. I’m sorry to tell you this but you cannot simlutaneously shield God out of the picture to avoid offending someone and change their lives by opening God’s truth to them!

One more question for the new “Christian” radio… where is Jesus? He apparently is not found on your station unless you hear a garbled mention of Him in a rock song between the guitar riffs.

Wake up relevance-loving neo-liberals. You cannot peddle salvation like a used Chevy Nova. God is not mocked, we will reap whatever we sow. Take it to the bank.

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Posted by on September 21, 2009 in Uncategorized


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