Dean: I’m as mad as a wet prairie dog. That gunslinger in the saloon called me a septuagenarian & I’m not even 40…
Ricky: Calm down, Dean. What he called you is a semi-pelagian.
John: Ah yes, those who think they can make the first move in seeking God for salvation. It is a heresy that robs God of sovereignty.
Dean: Well now I’m really steamed because I am a 5-point Calvinist and I keep a pot of TULIPs on my mantle at all times…
The Cru trainee uttered those words that were not allowed in the John Wayne Calvin household…”God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life”
Thanks to Calvinistic Cartoons for the image.
Robert: “Wow, that man is playing the guitar with his teeth and then behind his back.”
John: “That’s our new P & W pastor. Wait ’til he breathes fire! He darned near burned my toupee off my head last week.”
“I told you last week, pilgrim, we don’t cotton to new-fangled geetar and praise tunes here at King James Only Baptist Church. Now when that gunshot in your gut heals, you lead us in some hymns…”
Deacon John was more creedal than relational but he always got his point across.
“We warned you ’bout all that verse-by-verse expositional preachin’, pilgrim. Now this is yer last warnin’. Get relevant or get hanged. Afterall, it’s 1827 for cryin’ out loud… We’ll never be able to git 50 people attendin’ preachin’ unless we broaden our appeal. Now what’ll it be?”