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Tag Archives: TULIP

Thanks to all Who Visit (Humble Gratitude)


Thanks to all of you who visit and who post from time to time. You guys make this worthwhile. I hope we are getting something done that is worthwhile as well. As a token of my gratitude, have a TULIP…

 
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Posted by on March 20, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Amy Raldian the 4-Pointer (Humor)


Meet Amy Raldian the 4-pointer. She came out for a visit to Truthinator’s Blog headquarters recently. We tried our best to convince her to accept the 5th point but our talks soon went to the dogs after she smelled a set up. Her bark was worse than her bite even though we still have a bone to pick with her… 

 
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Posted by on February 17, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Happy Valentine’s Day from Truthinator’s Blog


 
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Posted by on February 14, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Prairie Protestantism (Humor)


Dean:  I’m as mad as a wet prairie dog. That  gunslinger in the saloon called me a septuagenarian & I’m not even 40…

Ricky:  Calm down, Dean. What he called you is a semi-pelagian.

John:  Ah yes, those who think they can make the first move in seeking God for salvation. It is a heresy that robs God of sovereignty.

Dean:  Well now I’m really steamed because I am a 5-point Calvinist and I keep a pot of TULIPs on my mantle at all times…

 
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Posted by on February 11, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Coming Soon: Forrest Gump 2…The TULIP Code (Humor)


Coming soon to the big screen, it’s Forrest Gump 2… The TULIP Code.

 In the sequel to the 1994 boxoffice hit, Forrest Gump, we find that after Forrest accidentally turned over some test tubes in a lab thus inventing a cure for most diseases, our main character is off to Switzerland to study Theology.  While studying the writings of John Calvin, our hero telephones Lt. Dan and tells him about a secret code found inside Calvin’s works. The code revealed the tulip industry in Holland was actually an evangelical technique employed to spread Calvin’s 5-points concerning the doctrine of election… 

This sure-to-be blockbuster stars Tom Hanks, Gary Sinise, and features a posthumous cameo by Tiny Tim singing Tiptoe Through the TULIPS…

Don’t miss it when Lt. Dan says, “Take the TULIP or you will be pushing up Daisies…” and when Forrest says, “Momma always said that Total Depravity applies to almost everybody…”  

Run out and see this movie…

 
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Posted by on September 16, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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Guns ‘n TULIPs (Satire)


 
 

Meet the latest in Calvinist garage-style church praise bands:  Guns ‘n TULIPs             Welcome to the jungle…

 
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Posted by on September 7, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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In Theaters Now… Cowboys & Arminians (Humor)


Predestined to be the best movie of the year! Answer the efficacious call & decide to go to the nearest theater and see this movie. It is chocked full of action, thrill, and misadventure. See the Arminians hit, miss, then hit their targets again… Watch as the Cowboys shoot and the Arminians decide whether or not to duck… It’s a thrill a minute. Now showing at theaters everywhere! Be a Daisy & see this movie…  

“I’m not sure if this is a good movie or not”- John Wesley Hardin     “I see that hand so I know it’s a good movie”- Charles Finney     “Those Arminians are pushing up TULIPs”- John Wayne Calvin
 
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Posted by on August 2, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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Whom should we fear?


In these present days of man-centered dogma delegating what can and cannot be taught or preached in churches in America, I think a little cleansing is due. Let’s look at some teaching that is Biblical but not often taught: The fear of God. J. Randall Easter of Azle, TX brings this brief message about the fear of God. (Thanks to www.apprising.org)

But I will warn you whom to fear: fear him who, after he has killed, has authority to cast into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him! (Luke 12:5)

Fear is something that mankind deals with on several different levels.  Fear causes mankind to hide, rebel, lash out, slander, panic, and to be something that they really are not.  The fear of man is a great snare that binds men and constrains them to simply be tossed around by the greatest pressure.  Pressure comes from one side and they move the other way and then a greater pressure comes from the other side and they move the other way.  Unstable men are unstable in all their ways.  Jesus makes it clear who men are to fear.  It is not the government, the religious leaders of the day, the employer, or the influential people of the community they Jesus tells us to fear, but rather we are to fear God.  It is God and God alone who should cause mankind to tremble.  The fear of God is to affect the way that we speak, act, make decision, set priorities, establish goals, love our spouses, train our children, serve our churches, and live in our communities.

A healthy fear of God is what is greatly needed in our churches today and it is the very thing that will bring lost men to repentance.  Churches are filled with people pleasing, back patting, high-fiving; emotional babies who seek to make sure that the whole thing is about them.  Jesus says, “Fear him!”  Jesus says he will tell us who to fear and then he specifically shows that we had better fear the one who holds man’s eternal destiny in his hand.  Eternity! Eternity!  The word is filled with fear and it is filled with hope. Mankind will have to stand before this God some day.  Man will stand before the One who utters his voice and causes the earth to melt, who judges in righteousness and truth and who will not allow anything unclean to enter into his presence. 

Dearly beloved, meditate upon the Lord your God today and seek to have a right vision of him.  Examine your life and see how it is that you worship, pray, study Scripture, treat your spouse, train your children, and how you live in the world.  Are these areas of your life reflections of your fear of God?  What is the first thought that comes to your mind when a difficult situation comes your way?  What is your first area of refuge when trials come?  If you have a healthy fear of God, he will be the one who has the greatest effects upon you daily life in all these areas.

J. Randall Easter, Senior Pastor of First Baptist Church of Briar, Azle, TX.

 
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Posted by on March 9, 2010 in Uncategorized

 

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