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Tag Archives: Rick Warren

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Twitter With Carnac (Satire)


Twitter With Carnac (Satire)

 
2 Comments

Posted by on June 15, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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The Real Message (Satire)


The Real Message (Satire)

 
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Posted by on May 13, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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Hair-Brained Ideas (Humor)


 
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Posted by on September 18, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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New Seeker Sensitive Church Plant Idea (Satire)


 

Introducing the newest and most effective Seeker Sensitive Church Plant idea ever! For only $19.95, you can become a senior pastor of your own Roller Coaster Church Plant. Kit includes construction plans for a roller coaster, signs for posting on uphill portion that give short limerick-style false Gospel presentation, closed circuit camera for capturing photos of the coaster riders with their hands raised thus becoming members of your church plant, and “Carnal Christian” t-shirts to give each rider as they exit the roller coaster so they won’t worry about knowing they are no different than when they got on. Order now and you will also get a nose piercing, crown of thorns tattoo, and an authentic pair of skinny jeans so you will rock their world. Those who order within the next 15 minutes will also receive a “John Piper says I am Doctrinal & Sound” bumper sticker and a “What Would Rick Warren Do” bracelet. Hurry! Place your order now!

“Why didn’t I think of this…every seat is an anxious bench” Charles Finney

“This idea is doctrinal & sound.” John Piper  

“Sometimes, placing a person’s butt in a roller coaster seat and vowing not to let them get off until they make a decision for Christ can move a heart when the Gospel cannot.”  Rick Warren 

“Roller coasters are confusing…who can know what they mean?”  Brian McLaren

 
5 Comments

Posted by on August 30, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Limericks Over Liturgy (Satire)


 

The young Seekermergent pastor wore a t-shirt each Sunday morning that said, “Limericks over Liturgy…because sometimes a catchy little poem about a little old lady from Dublin can move a heart when the Gospel cannot.”

 
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Posted by on August 28, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Introducing: Relevant Rick’s Eye-segesis Brand Sunglasses (Satire)


Announcing Rick Warren’s own line of premium sunglasses. Eye-segesis brand sunglasses will cut through the glare you automatically drift into every time one of those Bible thumping preachers starts finding Jesus in every passage. Because everyone knows, the Bible is all about you! Don’t be taken as irrelevant by wearing those traditional shades… every Seekermergent needs a pair of Rick Warren’s Eye-segesis brand sunglasses. When you wear these babies, the Bible appears to say whatever is comfortable to YOU. Get yours today from any Seekermergent multi-campus megachurch lobby, new age bookstore, or Zondervan coffee house. Order by phone by calling 800-PIPER-SAYS-I’M-OK. Don’t get caught in your Hawaiian shirt, shorts, and flip flops next Sunday on the platform of your multi-campus megachurch preaching about uniting all faiths under one homogeneous umbrella without a pair of Relevant Rick’s own Eye-segesis brand sunglasses.  UBU!

 
7 Comments

Posted by on June 15, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Reforming the Reformation (Sarcasm)


Hold on, hold on… now you Bible thumpers in the audience have to learn the Purpose Driven concept of thinking outside the box. That way, when I preach from outside the Bible, you won’t be so offended…

 
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Posted by on May 5, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Who Will Sing a Secular Song at Saddleback This year?


Funny College Ecard: 'Here is a song about a Welsh witch I know... Rhiannon rings like a bell through the night...' Saddleback: Get your secular on here...

 
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Posted by on March 30, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Spacial Relations (Satire)


“Hellllllo out there, this is Rick Warren speaking. I don’t know who you are or where you are but if we can find 2 or 3 things in common, we can call it worship of the same god…”

Rick Warren decides to expand his evangelical boundaries.

 
15 Comments

Posted by on March 11, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Bill & Rick’s Excellent Adventure (Humor)


Bill Hybels: Rick dude, let’s build mega churches by down-playing God’s word and replacing it with happy-speak, drama, rock & roll music, and other types of entertainment.

Rick Warren: Most excellent, Bill dude, most excellent indeed…

 
7 Comments

Posted by on March 6, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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