Tag Archives: Rapture

Blame it on the Brain (2) (Humor)

The 80s music-loving reformed theology student was asked about the Blondie song, “Rapture”. She replied, “I don’t believe in the rapture, I’m a Milli Vanillianist…”


Posted by on March 19, 2012 in Uncategorized


Tags: , , , , , , ,

Blame it on the Brain (Humor)

Patron: I’ll have a piece of the J. Vernon McGee Rapturous Raspberry Pie.

Blond Waitress: I don’t believe in the Rapture…I’m a Milli Vanillianist.


Posted by on October 7, 2011 in Uncategorized


Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Barney Code (Satire)

Andy, I discovered a mathematical code in the Bible that reveals when Judgment Day will occur. First you take the one bullet I have in my pocket and add that to the number of potholes down on Old Gopher Gulch Road then you multiply that by the number of Apostles divided by the 30 pieces of silver and there you have it…  Next Tuesday!

Leave a comment

Posted by on May 26, 2011 in Uncategorized


Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Harold Camping…Camping Out on a Limb (again)

An editorial by the Truthinator

All over the news you will see headlines claiming that Harold Camping was wrong again. Yes, he was indeed wrong. However, so is the news media and rabidly reformed people all over the ‘net.

I admit up-front that I am not a Harold Camping fan nor have I read very much of his claims. The little bit that I did read didn’t mention anything about the Rapture occurring on May 21. It said Judgement Day or End of Days or End of Time. I do not believe Camping mentioned the Rapture at all (at least in what I read). As a matter of fact, Camping spent a good number of years in reformed churches!

The rabidly reformed people are claiming this to be proof of the falseness of the belief in a rapture of the Church. Camping’s teachings do not lend themselves to what the Bible teaches in Revelation, Daniel, Matthew, or anyplace else in the Bible that I recognize.

Camping claimed that the end would come on May 21 and total destruction of everything would happen 5 months later. This is taught nowhere in the Bible. Even the reformed wing-nuts (and you know who you are) will admit this.

Dispensationalists believe in a literal interpretation of the Bible except where obvious hyperbole and symbolism are used. The Tribulation period of 7 years will be preceded by a Rapture of the Church. Christ will come back after the Tribulation and establish His Kingdom from an earthly perspective that will last 1000 years. Then there will be a final rebellion followed by the ultimate end of time as anyone on earth knows it.

Dispensationalists do not believe what I have read of Harold Camping’s teachings. Don’t fall for the rabidly reformed blogger’s claims that Camping’s failure destroys Dispensationalism. They need to get out of their parent’s basement and read their Bibles a little more closely.

Camping is a nut. Case closed. The media and many reformed basement bloggers need to do their homework. The Rapture does not equal Judgement Day or the End of Times.

Another good rule of thumb is to stay away from those who set dates. No one has ever been correct at attaching a date to any part of future things…


Posted by on May 21, 2011 in Uncategorized


Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Dispensational Thought for the Day #6

Ok, thus far I have been pretty tough on the reformed people. Hopefully I have been kind however. Today, I will be tough on my dispensationalist friends.

Dispensational Thought for the Day #6 … Everything that happens is not necessarily a fulfillment of prophecy!

Wow, the earthquake in Japan and the resulting nuclear disaster was only just beginning to be realized last week and people were already beginning to claim this was fulfilling prophecy. Stop and think, people!

Where in Revelation or anywhere else does it talk about the end times events happening in Japan? And where does the Bible say that any of the trumpet or seal judgements take place separate from the Tribulation period? Has the Tribulation over the entire world begun?

Yikes. I am amazed at how people take verses out as if they can stand alone and claim all manner of weird fulfillment. Let me give you an example of dispensationalists run amok (No, that is not a title of a new reality show on Fox). Back in the 1980s, there were many people traveling the country doing prophecy conferences. One such person said that Revelation 9:8-9 ( They had hair like the hair of women, and their teeth were like lions teeth. They had breastplates like breastplates of iron; and the sound of their wings was like the sound of chariots, of many horses rushing to battle) was talking about the heavy metal rock bands that were so popular at the time.

Give me a break. This is not exegesis…this doesn’t even qualify as eisegesis. This is simply ignorancesis.

The book of the Revelation is not entirely chronological because there are some parenthetical pieces that give greater detail of some areas but overall events happen within a framework of chronology. Once the trumpet and bowl judgements begin, there will be no doubt that the Tribulation has begun. Speakers must be tested to insure they are sound teachers. Do not follow someone because they tell a fascinating or compelling story very well. Even if they have powerpoint and/or video to back their story up, they may still be misguided or out & out frauds.  

Beware of the clever packaging around a bill of goods. The principles of sound Bible study include context, consistency, careful treatment of literal & figurative items, and a solid understanding of God and His nature. We will continue next time… Thanks for joining in.

Leave a comment

Posted by on March 21, 2011 in Uncategorized


Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Dispensational Thought for the Day #5 (part 3)

Dispensational Thought #5 (part 3) : The Rapture of the church is not mentioned by name in the Bible, so why do many people believe in it?

Please read parts 1 & 2 prior to this piece so that you will be up to speed on what we have discussed thus far. Without further ado, let’s begin.

Let’s dwell a bit upon the Church and her whereabouts during the tribulation. First off, yes, I believe there will  be a literal 7-year tribulation period. Why else would God communicate all of the information to John if He were not serious about it? To spiritualize the book of the Revelation to the point of rendering it meaningless is a grave and dangerous error. And another thing, the events of the tribulation period have not occurred before upon this earth. Please do not get caught up in spiritual mystery novels & religious science fiction. The Bible is to be taken literally unless it is obviously speaking in hyperbole or metaphor.

God mentions protecting the Church (Philadelphia) from the ‘hour of trial’ that will come upon the entire earth. Many believe the letters to the churches represent not only literal churches that actually existed but also types of ages that the Church will go through. Some may argue against this tack but, even if this method is not the correct way to deal with the material concerning the letters to the churches, there remains throughout the Bible adequate reason to support the rapture of God’s Church prior to the tribulation period. 

So where is the Church? In chapter4, John gets translated into Heaven to watch the events of the end unfold. Some have claimed that this represents the rapture but it does not. The act of John getting translated into Heaven was exactly that. He gets taken into Heaven to see the events that will unfold before him. Last time, I mentioned that when he gets there, he sees a great multitude dressed in white robes and is told that these were taken out of great tribulation (Rev 7). Similar Greek wording for ‘taken out’ is used for how these people get to Heaven as compared to the wording for the church of Philadelphia’s being kept from the hour of great trial back in chapter 3. The people in chapter 7 are most likely people who are saved and martyred during the tribulation period. These people made a transition from living on earth to living in Heaven. The similar wording with chapter 3 would suggest that the chapter 3 people made a transition as well.

Notice in chapters 4 & 5 when John goes into Heaven, he sees 24 elders worshipping God. When the Lamb of God (Jesus) appears to open the title deed to God’s Creation, the elders worship Him and sing a song of redemption to Him. Notice in chapter 5 how they sing that Jesus has redeemed them with His blood. Exactly whom has Jesus redeemed with His blood. ONLY THOSE WHO ARE SAVED a.k.a. the Church. No one can sing a song of personal redemption except those who are personally redeemed. This represents the Church being in Heaven at the time that John arrives to witness the events of the end.

This group cannot be redeemed Israel since the nation is not yet redeemed. The tribulation saints are yet to be mentioned (chapter 7). Since there is no mention of the Church anywhere else in Revelation during the tribulation period, the 24 elders must represent the complete body of the redeemed that were taken into Heaven prior to the beginning of the tribulation period.

So, this area of scripture tells us about the Church’s location during the tribulation. Chapter 7 talks about the sealing of 144,000 of the tribes of the children of Israel in order for them to be able to do God’s work during the tribulation period. Next, the tribulation martyrs are mentioned. So, if the church is still on earth, where is she mentioned? Nowhere. There is no reason at all to believe that the Church will ride out the tribulation on earth. The church will be otherwise occupied singing redemption’s song before the throne of God!

The entire Bible is a book about redemption. God has redeemed those who are saved via grace through faith in Christ. To think that God would allow His Church, the body of Christ, to ride out the tribulation period on earth with no mention of any type of protection mechanism or discussion of her duties or transition into Heaven is absurd. I am sorry but that is the truth. Please do not get caught up into fantasy stories about how this group is really another group and this time is really another time and this filter has to be used here and that filter has to be used there and so on… Just read the Bible and understand it as it was written! Praise God for his word!

Join me next time for more discussion.

Leave a comment

Posted by on February 14, 2011 in Uncategorized


Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Dispensational Thought for the Day #5 part 2

Dispensational Thought #5 (part 2) : The Rapture of the church is not mentioned by name in the Bible, so why do many people believe in it?

There is no mention by name that the rapture will occur and no direct details on how or when it will occur in precision form. So what? There is also no mention of the law of gravity nor is there an explanation of how gravity works but does that mean there is no gravity on earth? Of course not.

The Truthinator believes in the Rapture for several reasons and I will begin with this one. I believe the Bible implies that God will keep His Church safe during the tribulation by removing her as opposed to keeping her safe in the midst of it. I see God keeping His remnant safe during such trials as the flood, lop-sided wars, lion’s dens, furnaces and so forth under the old covenant. He indeed preserved His people through many horrific events.

When Christ died (gave up His spirit) on the cross, the temple veil was torn through from top to bottom. Everything would change. God would now deal with a Church (Body of Christ) that would be composed of recipients of grace under a new covenant. Jews, Gentiles, slave, free, rich, poor, fat, slim, and you get the picture. Christ rose, appeared to many, ascended, and sat down at the right hand of the Father sending the Holy Spirit to indwell believers!

This is a totally new way of interacting with His people. Now, when we look at Revelation  3:10 where God promises to keep the church of Philadelphia ( a real church and a type of church) out of the hour of trial that is due to come upon the entire world, the Greek word Ek is used for “out” . Ek has several forms and each form connotes action resulting in removal from a place of origin or movement from a beginning point. God did not promise to keep them through the world-wide trial that was coming. A possible word for keeping them safe throughout the great trial could have been ‘di’ or ‘dia’ among others. He could have said that He would keep them safe during or throughout the trial but He did not. He promised to keep them out of the coming world-wide trial.

Also look at Rev 7. God seals 12,000 of each of the 12 tribes of Israel. What did He do for the Church? Nothing because the Church is no longer on earth (IMHO). Look at verses that follow. John sees a multitude of every nation and type arrayed in white robes. The angel later tells John that these are the ones who came out of the great constriction or trial. The Greek word, Ek, is used again. Also notice that John gets translated into Heaven and the Church is already there… and they were taken out of the great trial that would be world-wide. Pretribulation rapture!

Ok, that is enough for today. What I have told you thus far is not an exhaustive treatment of the issue. I will continue next time with more of my thoughts on the issue. Am I dogmatic on this issue? Well, yes & no. I thoroughly believe what I have told you but I concede to you that there is room for discussion. More tomorrow…

Leave a comment

Posted by on February 10, 2011 in Uncategorized


Tags: , , , , , , ,

Dispensational Thought for the Day #5 part 1

Thanks for your viewership thus far, the numbers for these posts have been huge! Please respond if you wish.

Dispensational Thought #5 (part 1) : The Rapture of the church is not mentioned in the Bible, so why do many people believe in it?

This is part one of probably several posts that will talk about the rapture. First of all, there are no verses or chapters that tell us about the rapture directly. As a matter of fact, I do not believe any verses directly address the rapture. Many Dispensationalists will disagree with me on this but that is OK. I just do not see where there is a lesson on the rapture in scripture of a direct nature. So, why do I believe there will be a rapture? Great question.

Let me digress for a moment and I will begin to answer the question in the 2nd part of this post series. It is critical to retain proper thinking when interpreting scripture. You can NEVER pull a verse and use it out of context with the chapter and book in which it is found. I will give you an example. Matthew 18:20 is often quoted prior to congregational prayer; however, the verse is in a section of a chapter that deals exclusively with church discipline! To say that God hears our prayers whenever two or more are gathered together misleads people into believing that God does not hear individual prayers and that prayers offered by groups are always superior to individual prayers which is never mentioned nor implied anywhere in scripture.

Another point to be made here is that the Bible often corroborates itself by reinforcing principles in more than one place within the body of scripture. Be careful of points of interest that seem to stand alone. Many think the rapture is such a point. They do not see it mentioned and do not see a corroboration anywhere else in scripture. Then why would I believe in such a concept as the rapture? Tune in next time for the beginning of my explanation.


Posted by on February 8, 2011 in Uncategorized


Tags: , , , , , , ,

Dispensational Thought for the Day #2

Ok, I admit that some of yesterday’s post was tongue-in-cheek. I was serious about the content but I am taking a light-hearted but sincere tack on this mission. Today, let’s jump into a misunderstanding that puts Reformed and Dispensational people at odds unnecessarily.

 #2 Reformed Theology or Dispensational Theology is heretical and of the devil.

Neither is true. Also, the Reformed perspective and the Dispensational perspective are not Theologies to begin with. They are both interpretational frameworks through which scripture is viewed. Another thing to keep in mind is that not all Reformed nor all Dispensational people will agree with each other much less with their counterparts from the other interpretational framework.

Both Reformed and Dispensational mainstream believers acknowledge that man is saved by grace through faith in Jesus alone to the glory of God. We differ not so much on the large, foundational issues but on the interpretational nuances of who said what to whom and what does it mean. These differences are important but do not render either side as heretics. In my opinion, the Reformed people will be surprised when they are raptured one day! But this is a discussion for another day.

Sufficient for today is to know that we are discussing the differences between two different interpretational frameworks. The two groups argue mainly in the areas of who Israel is today and what will happen with future things. We will discuss this in more detail later. Thanks for joining me again. We will continue tomorrow.

Leave a comment

Posted by on January 25, 2011 in Uncategorized


Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Group Claims to Know Exact Date of Jesus’ Return

Coming soon to Detroit: Billboards proclaiming Jesus ‘is coming again’ on May 21, 2011

Published: Friday, December 03, 2010, 2:13 PM    

Allison Warden of We Can Know, a North Carolina-based group that is funding the campaign along with Family Radio and private donors, told the Associated Press the billboards are going up this month in Detroit and several other cities where Family Radio is not broadcast. ————————–

Op-Ed:     OK, here we go again. Which part of “Only the Father knows” do these groups not understand? Matthew 24:36 says, ” But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father alone.”

This time it is a group of people from North Carolina who is creating this minor stir. No one will or can know the date of the end nor of the rapture (yes, Reformed friends, I said the rapture ;-)).

I have seen some crazy, crazy stuff over the years. Wild formulae are devised. Sometimes they take the number of years since King David died times the number of disciples divided by the number of times Oprah has lost weight and gained it back… All of these crazy schemes end in abject failure. Why? BECAUSE IT IS NOT OURS TO KNOW! We cannot know. We will never know (until it happens).

Look. The thing that Americans should be most concerned with is that all people will die someday and unless we have God’s grace through faith in Jesus, eternal hell will be the result!

There are no secret codes in the Bible. It says what it says plainly enough to those given ears to hear and eyes to see. Take God’s message to the world, care for the truly needy, protect the proper communication of God’s word, and maintain fellowship with believers. Those are the directives we were given.

Focus. We need to be reminded to maintain proper focus. God is sovereign. All we have to do is be faithful to Him. He is in charge. He does not need our MBA-styled marketing techniques in order to accomplish His plan.  


1 Comment

Posted by on December 6, 2010 in Uncategorized


Tags: , , , , , , , , ,