Bill & Rick’s Excellent Adventure (Humor)

Bill Hybels: Rick dude, let’s build mega churches by down-playing God’s word and replacing it with happy-speak, drama, rock & roll music, and other types of entertainment.

Rick Warren: Most excellent, Bill dude, most excellent indeed…

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Tis so Sweet to Tweet… (Humor)

 

Piper:   I just tweeted, “Farewell, Rob Bell”. If you don’t distance yourself from those new-age Bhagwans you consulted for your diet plan, you’re next…

 

The Emergent Bakery (Satire)

The Emergent Bakery (Satire) by Wallace Revels      

 

 

Guy: I would like a muffin, please, do you have any?

 

Emergent Baker: One can never be sure…

 

Guy: Do you have a banana nut muffin?

 

Emergent Baker: That sounds a little dogmatic to ask if I have one. I prefer to have a conversation about muffins.

 

Guy: Uh, you sell muffins, right?

 

Emergent Baker: We provide an atmosphere where people can safely explore whether they can perceive if muffins exist without the ridicule and legalism of the traditional bakery.

 

Guy: Do you know how to make muffins…do you have a cookbook?

 

Emergent Baker: I prefer to meditate about the ingredients that make up a holistic muffin in my mind’s eye. We do not use that old, outdated, tradition-steeped cookbook used by the irrelevant traditional bakers. We prefer the Purpose Driven Chef and Your Best Baking Now. These offer much less restrictions to our sense of self expression in the kitchen. They also boost our sense of self-importance.

 

Guy: Look, spaceman, do you have a muffin or not?

 

Emergent Baker: That is not the real question. The real question is how to meet your felt need of desiring a muffin. We have found that replacing the tired old order & serve process with drama, relevant FM-type radio music, and impressive-looking teenage bakers calms the customers and keeps them coming back.

 

Guy: Coming back for what? I need something to eat!

 

Emergent Baker: There you go again. Your mentality is the reason why most traditional bakeries have gone out of business.

 

Guy: Never mind, I will get a pack of crackers at the office… A bakery that doesn’t bake is worthless!

 

Daily Truth Bible Study Acts 11:1-30 part 2

Notice in verse 19 how believers had scattered to far away places as a result of the persecution that arose concerning Stephen’s ministry. Notice particularly that despite Stephen being killed by the Jewish religious leaders, the spreading of the good news of Jesus continued and increased! The scattering of some resulted in the Gospel being taught in new and different places. The work of God had not been halted, it had increased!

Notice also in verse 20 how it was the Lord Jesus that was being preached to the locals. It was not felt-needs, pop psychology, how to improve your sex life, prosperity now, or any other such madness. They were preaching the Lord Jesus. The result was that the hand of the Lord was with them and a great number believed and turned to the Lord (verse 21).

This is not the first time we have seen this formula (if we can call it that). The disciples of Jesus took His message to people and the Lord’s hand blessed this activity resulting in many believing and being saved. Wow, so simple yet so profound…why is this so hard to understand? Why do so many today put on entertainment extravaganzas each week to entertain men producing little if any lasting changes in their lives and call it ministry?

The book of Acts makes it amazingly simple and easy to understand. Faithful men preach the Lord Jesus to unbelievers. God blesses this activity. Many believe and are changed. Any questions?

 

A Lesson in Relevance (satire)

After attending a Pompous Driven Church conference in southern California, brothers Fred, Bill, and Tom misinterpreted 1 Cor 9:22 by actually becoming Amish…  

Their conversion was short-lived however. Once they found they had to give up their Twitter and iphones, they were out like a 1692 candle in a windstorm…

Thanks to Calvinist Cartoon for the image. The caption is by the Truthinator.

 

Decisionalism vs. Regeneration What does your church teach?

It is a modern-day epidemic. You will hear a preacher say something like,  “If you want to know you can have Heaven as your home, then ask Jesus into your heart” or “Raise your hand if you have made a decision to allow Jesus to be Lord of your life” or something similar but is this true? Sometimes, you will not even hear mention of the need for salvation. Instead you will hear a preacher say something like, ” We would love to have you as a part of our loving and thriving congregation, please sign the tear-out in your welcome kit and become a member today” or ” Your wonderful life could be made much more fulfilling by having Jesus in it; send a text to 2125LOVE and you will be assured of eternity in Heaven” but is this true?

In the clip of the Paul Washer sermon, you will hear Paul challenge some of the inaccurate and eternally damning assumptions made by too many people. Paul shares with us what the Bible really teaches about regeneration.

Who is a Christian? The one who confidently proclaims Christ but lives like the world or the one whose life changes 180 degrees for a Godly instead of worldly existence? God is the judge. Make sure on which side of the aisle you are standing.         (Thanks to www.illbehonest.com) 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5bc8QU4h2w&feature=channel

Paul Washer Regeneration Salvation Repentence New Nature Evidence of Salvation Calvinism Transformation Carnal Christian Sin New Creature Church Worldly Decisionalism Easy Believism Saved Lost Eternity Heaven Hell God Jesus Cross

 

Brian McLaren’s new book: New Christianity or Old Liberal Heresy ?

I admit up front that I am no fan of Emergent Church (cult) leader of sorts, Brian McLaren. He simply does not believe the Bible and has set out to change Christianity repairing the damage the creator did along the 13,000 years before McLaren burst onto the scene.

Many detailed reviews are available for the new book, A New Kind of Christianity so I will not add to the clutter. I will use this time to review McLaren and his ilk.

After following McLaren for years, I have been aware of his heresy and general distaste for the real God of the Bible. But, what has become amazingly clear since the publication of the new book is his ARROGANCE. Now, it is obvious that anyone who seeks to re-write God and His word in order to make Him more up-to-date and palatable to man is arrogant. I would lump Rick Warren, Robert Schuler, Bill Hybels, Joel O$teen, and many others into this category. However, there is a new king mackerel in the arrogance sea and his name is guru McLaren!

At least McLaren comes out in the open about his unbelief. He names 10 things he would do differently if he were God…basically. I know a great deal of reading any material is wrapped up in context and point of view. Apparently McLaren envisions himself as an envoy who will bring people of many faiths together around a new set of rules for engaging in the discussion of faith. Some may agree with him that new rules are necessary since many do not like the existing guidelines put forth in the Bible. I am not in that camp.

What McLaren and his heretical ilk are doing is redefining what it means to be a Christian. The only problem for them is … God is not threatened by their wishes, desires, or plans to take over. In school yards across the world, strong kids take over the games and change the rules as they please by overcoming the weaker classmates. God will not be manhandled by anyone!

McLaren fans beware! There is already a God of the universe. He has written a book. It contains the information He wanted to communicate. The ego of man is no match for the power of the omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent God.    

Brian McLaren Rick Warren Bill Hybels Joel Osteen Emergent Church Cult A New Kind Of Christianity Brian McLaren Rick Warren Bill Hybels Joel Osteen Emergent Church Cult A New Kind Of Christianity Brian McLaren Rick Warren Bill Hybels Joel Osteen Emergent Church Cult A New Kind Of Christianity 

Brian McLaren Rick Warren Bill Hybels Joel Osteen Emergent Church Cult A New Kind Of Christianity