King of Contemporary P&W (Humor)

Hank:  Did you boys hear all of that racket & commotion this morning at church? It was like a bomb went off on the stage, I tell you what…

Dale:  Hank, that is what we contemporary worshippers call praise &
worship music.

Bill:  I kind of liked it when the guitar player set his guitar on fire while he played the solo to     In-A-Godda-Da-Vida.

Boomhauer:  I tell you what, man, that ol’ boy, he played that, boom! …that wuz good stuff.

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Emergent Church Discipline (Satire)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“We are the church discipline committee here at Elevation Station Emergent Church & we understand you weren’t raising your hands in praise while the band did their ZZ Top medley…”

 

Now Hear This (Humor)

 

Doctor:   I’m seeing this more & more these days. Next Sunday, make sure to sit farther from the praise band…

 

A Time Traveler Talks With Spurgeon (Humor)

A Time Traveler Talks With Spurgeon

Traveler: Chuck, I saw smoke billowing, blood spewing, fire blazing, lighting flashing, bodies writhing, and heard ear-splitting crashes like thunder.

Spurgeon: End times?

Traveler: Nah, that was the praise band at our church…

 

Shiver me Timbrels (Humor)

The contemporary praise band received a call from the senior pastor asking them to come prepared to soteriologically inspire but due to static on the call what they heard was to come dressed in scallywag attire…