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Tag Archives: Praise Band

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Too Close (Satire)


Too Close  (Satire)

 
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Posted by on April 28, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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A Time Traveler Talks to Spurgeon (Humor & Satire)


A Time Traveler Talks to Spurgeon

Time Traveler: And I saw flashing lights that would blind your eyes and thick, acrid smoke that choked the life from me. I heard thunderous sounds that split the sky with their ear-piercing volume and saw scantly-clad people writhing in mesmerized stupor while heavy, chest-pounding thuds of great bombilation pounded me into mush.

Spurgeon: Did you witness the end times?

Time Traveler: No, that was a description of my church’s praise band performance last week…

 
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Posted by on February 13, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Ear-reverent (Satire)


After testing their volume level on a hand-picked group of consumers, the praise band at Elevation Station (formerly 2nd Baptist Mennonite Reformed Bible Church of the Puritan Brotherhood before converting to Emergent) felt they had it just right. Afterall, loud is the new spiritual…

 
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Posted by on October 13, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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We’re Not in Kansas Anymore (Humor)


The kids at Calvary Christian School ducked under their desks at the sound of a tornado approaching their school. It was later discovered however that what they actually heard was the church’s new contemporary praise band rehearsing in the auditorium…

 
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Posted by on June 30, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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Powerful Praise (Satire)


Man on Right: Did you hear that explosion at the contemporary church across the street?

Man on Left:  That wasn’t an explosion, Gus, that was the praise band doing a sound check…

 
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Posted by on June 26, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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Frontier Struggles (Satire)


Walter: ” Dean, what happened to you?”

Dean: ” They roughed me up over at that church down the street.”

John: ” What did you do, take money from the plate?”

Dean: ” No, I just suggested they sing a hymn instead of another one of those praise choruses…”

 
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Posted by on May 11, 2010 in Uncategorized

 

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