RSS

Tag Archives: Elders

A Little Child Shall Lead Them (Satire)


 

Hi guys, Seeker Valley Community Church is looking for some Elders… who’s interested?

 
1 Comment

Posted by on October 8, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

We Have a New Pastor (Satire)


Open auditions were held at Elevation Station (formerly Grace Baptist before converting to Emergent) for senior pastor. Ian McShane quickly became the front runner. Not only was he a snazzy dresser, he could dance, balance a pool cue on his nose, and quote Roman Catholic mystics in his 15-minute sermons. The minute he showed his various impressive tattoos and revealed his ability for vision casting, he immediately received the call from the 25-year-old church elders… 

 
4 Comments

Posted by on October 6, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Interview (Satire)


A group of church elders (all in their 20s) interviewed a candidate for senior pastor. They asked about the experience of the man who replied that he had 30 years of expositional Bible teaching experience and that many had been saved & discipled under his watchcare.

Yawning, the chair of the elders replied, “Look Dude, that’s sort of impressive and all but here at Elevation Station (formerly Calvary Baptist before converting to Emergent) it’s all about the beer, the bling, and the Bon Jovi. It’s about stage lights, big screens, and decibels. It’s about rocking, rejoicing, and recreation. We need someone who can relate to our community… how much beer can you drink? Can you keep your sermonettes to under 15 minutes? “

The Bible teacher quietly left the building …

 
8 Comments

Posted by on September 19, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Semper Fi (Humor)


(Shouting) “EPHESIANS 6:10 SAYS TO BE STRONG IN THE LORD AND IN THE POWER OF HIS MIGHT, PEOPLE. STOP YUR PANSYING AROUND AND GET OUT THERE AND GET TO WORK, YOU BUNCH OF BALLERINAS…”  

When the elders suggested young pastor Fred simplify his messages, he misunderstood them to have said to Semper Fi his messages…  

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 24, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,