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Tag Archives: Discernment

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Twitter With Carnac (Satire)


Twitter With Carnac (Satire)

 
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Posted by on June 15, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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So You Think you Can Preach Emergent (Humor)


So You Think you Can Preach Emergent (Humor)

 
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Posted by on May 14, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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The Real Message (Satire)


The Real Message (Satire)

 
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Posted by on May 13, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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New Seeker Sensitive Church Plant Idea (Satire)


 

Introducing the newest and most effective Seeker Sensitive Church Plant idea ever! For only $19.95, you can become a senior pastor of your own Roller Coaster Church Plant. Kit includes construction plans for a roller coaster, signs for posting on uphill portion that give short limerick-style false Gospel presentation, closed circuit camera for capturing photos of the coaster riders with their hands raised thus becoming members of your church plant, and “Carnal Christian” t-shirts to give each rider as they exit the roller coaster so they won’t worry about knowing they are no different than when they got on. Order now and you will also get a nose piercing, crown of thorns tattoo, and an authentic pair of skinny jeans so you will rock their world. Those who order within the next 15 minutes will also receive a “John Piper says I am Doctrinal & Sound” bumper sticker and a “What Would Rick Warren Do” bracelet. Hurry! Place your order now!

“Why didn’t I think of this…every seat is an anxious bench” Charles Finney

“This idea is doctrinal & sound.” John Piper  

“Sometimes, placing a person’s butt in a roller coaster seat and vowing not to let them get off until they make a decision for Christ can move a heart when the Gospel cannot.”  Rick Warren 

“Roller coasters are confusing…who can know what they mean?”  Brian McLaren

 
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Posted by on August 30, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Let the Games Begin (Sarcasm)


The self-proclaiming superheroes of the Discernment Blogging world gathered outside Tim Challies’ office to contend for the #2 most popular position in their ranks… there is sure to be much bloodshed because “God helps those who defame, insult, and deride others to get to the top.”  (sarcasm)

 
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Posted by on August 21, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Mark Driscoll Sees Things (Humor)


Young Mark Driscoll: I see gullible people…

 
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Posted by on August 21, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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Stick a Fork in Mark Driscoll Because He is Done (Finished)


Opinion

Mark Driscoll is what I consider to be out of his mind. The most recent thing I have seen tears it. For several years I have seen him do things on video and in print that were questionable. Now he has crossed farther over the line to the point of being rendered useless for the ministry, in my opinion.

He is apparently using divination and calling it discernment. He claims to see visual images in graphic detail. He claims that when he counsels and when he preaches he sees images of people doing all sorts of lewd and wicked things. He also claims to know things about the people that he counsels that the people themselves do not know.

Run from this guy. He has crossed a line. He is not sound. He is not doctrinal. He is not scriptural. He is not orthodox. He practices what I consider to be occult behavior. Why do I say this?

If he ‘saw things’ but recognized from scripture that people today that are Godly do not see things like this, he would beg God’s power to overcome this evil thing. Since he embraces it however, he is opening himself up to deceptive spirits that are not from God.

Does the Bible talk about people seeing things that others do not see? Yes. One type of person was either God’s prophet or Christ’s apostolic servant. Both of these jobs have been closed down since the first century. The other type of person that saw things others did not see and told folks about it were getting the information from demons. This is dangerous territory.

Another thing is that Driscoll seems to relish giving vivid detail about the lurid activities he sees during these episodes of his. I am afraid he enjoys the power and/or prestige he imagines himself to have.

Run, folks! This guy is dangerous. Sure, he teaches a pretty good lesson at times; however, the thing to keep in mind is that a man of God will be consistent. He will not teach truth most of the time and conduct divination occasionally.

If any of you are in Mark’s church, contact the leadership and get this guy some help. He is on the wrong track. Read your Bible and justify or condemn his behavior based upon what it teaches.

Watch the video to see him talk about ‘seeing’ things. Warning: there is a great deal of graphic sexual terms and situations discussed in the clip.

Thanks to www.apprising.org, www.5ptsalt.com and others.

 
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Posted by on August 17, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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Who Needs Rules & Regulations? (Satire)


Diver on the Left:   Wow, I am so glad we didn’t listen to the dive leader. What does he know? Now we are having fun. I am free to enjoy life on my terms. No more rule books or accountability people. Who needs rules & regs? I’ve got my own resourcefulness to rely upon…

Diver on the Right:   All of the other divers are watching us and waiving. They must be impressed by my new Brazilian butt lift…

 

Note: I am aware that this photo is a hoax.I am using it to make a point not to endorse it’s historical accuracy as a diving event. Thanks.

 
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Posted by on July 13, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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To Discern or Not To Discern… That is the question (Op-Ed)


I read about a bru ha ha recently in the blog world where an official from a religious magazine had chided bloggers and blogging in general for constantly pointing out what they perceive to be error in belief in the Christian community. 

About a year ago, I also heard a famous liberal Christian author & speaker saying the same thing during a radio interview. Their points of view were so similar that one must be following the other’s lead or this must be the new plan in the liberal, left-wing religious community. It’s like they are saying, “Hey man, don’t point out my heresy as heresy. That’s mean-spirited and judgemental, dude.”

Like Rodney King (who was recently arrested, again…) said, “Can’t we all just get along?” It would be so much easier to get people to drift from the truth if folks with discernment and Bible knowledge would keep quiet…

If you are wondering whether you should keep quiet or stand for the truth, be reminded of what the Bible teaches concerning truth, error, and the incompatibility of the two. Where can you find this in the Bible? The Old & New Testaments…  

Sarcasm aside, look closely at what the Bible teaches about worldliness and whether God wants it incorporated into His church. Every book of the New Testament deals with this in some form except for maybe Philemon.

Read, Pray, Discern, Expose. Afterall, there is no other way to truly love your family and neighbors than to be honest with them.

 
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Posted by on July 13, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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Rob Bell’s Theology… Closer to John Lennon or John Calvin?


Imagine there’s no Heaven (or Hell), it’s easy if you try… Rob Bell’s new Book Love Wins has been called “a fine book” by some on the extreme religious left and it has been called heretical and Universalist by more conservative Christian commentators but one thing is sure… the book is at the center of controversy.  

While Bell denies being a Universalist, it is difficult for him to prove it based upon his belief that everything works out for everyone in the end. His proponents call his work “generous”and his dissenters call it historically inaccurate, Theologically unsound, devastating to souls, and indefensible.  

The Truthinator has been warning about the Emergent toxic sludge for about 10 years now. Rob Bell pastors a 10,000 member church in Grand Rapids, MI but that is not the real danger. The real danger lies in the fact that young people and aspiring pastors have enshrined this guy as the true north position on the compass of truth! You may say to yourself that your church is fine and that nothing new ever happens in Turkey Neck, NC but chances are the next pastor called to the churches in all of the Turkey Neck, NCs in the world will have been greatly influenced by Rob Bell and others like him.  

Be afraid for your children and grandchildren. I have seen the face of America’s religious future and it is scary…

 
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Posted by on March 24, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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