RSS

Tag Archives: Contemporary Praise Music

A Time Traveler Talks to Spurgeon (Humor & Satire)


A Time Traveler Talks to Spurgeon

Time Traveler: And I saw flashing lights that would blind your eyes and thick, acrid smoke that choked the life from me. I heard thunderous sounds that split the sky with their ear-piercing volume and saw scantly-clad people writhing in mesmerized stupor while heavy, chest-pounding thuds of great bombilation pounded me into mush.

Spurgeon: Did you witness the end times?

Time Traveler: No, that was a description of my church’s praise band performance last week…

 
8 Comments

Posted by on February 13, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Western Minister’s Confession (Humor)


Ricky singing:  ♫ Jesus is my friend, yeah Jesus is a cool dude, yes Jesus is my homeboy ♪ ♫

John: Is that what you folks sing over to that Tumbleweed Community Church, Pilgrim?

Ricky: Yes, what are you, a pharisee or something…?

John singing: ♪ Rock of ages, cleft for me. Let me hide myself in Thee. Let the water and the blood, from Thy wounded side that flowed. Be of sin the double cure, cleanse from wrath and make me pure.

Ricky: Double cure…what’s that?

John: Just as I suspected… You stay away from those Emergent garden parties, young man.

 
1 Comment

Posted by on August 31, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Relevance Lost (Satire)


Goober:  Did you see that pitiful sound system at that church in Siler City?

Andy:  Yeah, no Marshall stacks, no guitar effect pedals, no synthesizers, no strobe lights, no smoke bombs…no wonder they’re not a growing church, they lack all the vital stuff.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 24, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

A Time Traveler Talks With Spurgeon (Humor)


A Time Traveler Talks With Spurgeon

Traveler: Chuck, I saw smoke billowing, blood spewing, fire blazing, lighting flashing, bodies writhing, and heard ear-splitting crashes like thunder.

Spurgeon: End times?

Traveler: Nah, that was the praise band at our church…

 
1 Comment

Posted by on August 4, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,