Tel-Lectio Divina (Humor)

13 Jan

We pray you will contemplate using Tel-Lectio Divina Communications the next time you want a new revelation from God. Just meditate on the possibilities! The next time someone tries to fence you in with truth from the Bible, just dial direct for a new & different interpretation that will match your own flesh’s desires. Tel-Lectio Divina Communications is a favorite of Roman Catholic mystics, evangelical protholics, and Emergents alike. Afterall, all roads lead to God…whomever he or she might be! Tel-Lectio Divina is recommended by Popes John Paul II, Benedick, Warren, McLaren, and the list goes on.

Sold in RC monasteries & Emergent Church coffee houses throughout the world. You will also find us located beside the Beltone hearing aid desk in the lobby of most American churches. Dial 666 to get an outside line and proudly proclaim “Dei Verbum” to all of your post-modern friends…


Posted by on January 13, 2012 in Uncategorized


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4 responses to “Tel-Lectio Divina (Humor)

  1. Acidri

    January 13, 2012 at 8:26 pm

    A salaam alectio! 🙂

  2. SusanC

    January 15, 2012 at 11:30 am

    To continue please deposit 10% of everything you own, plus love gifts. Please press 1 to have your ears tickled. Please press 2 so you will not be confused with facts. Please press 3 for a list of words to call people who stand up for the so called “Gospel”. Press 4 to get a list of writings from authors who think like you. Press 5 for a list of mega churches, cathedrals and other social gathering place where the Bible is more of a prop than the Word of God per se. Per the initial instructions press 666 for an outside line. For pete’s sake never press 7 as this number appears too many times and is used by You Know Who. Press 0 for an operator who sounds alot like Joel Osteen and will assure you that as long as you have money in the bank and a car in the drive way whatever you believe is peachy keen. Thank you for using (rob) Bell Communications. See you on the wide road. Have a blessed day!

    • Truthinator

      January 15, 2012 at 5:13 pm

      Nice addition. I like it. 😉

  3. Simon

    January 16, 2012 at 12:45 am

    Yeah I had a set of those ,gave them away after I got my hands on Calvins’ Institutes of Religion. Found them in a Jewish bookshop. Go figure, Calvin has gone places the Pope will never go:)


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