What it Was Was Contemporary Worship (Humor)

30 Sep

 [I modeled this after the comic genius of “What it was was Football” by Andy Griffith and I mean for it to poke some sarcastic fun at the ridiculousness of the Seeker/Emergent Church. Read with your best Southern accent, Ya’ll]

Well, it was October 2011 and I was out lookin’ fer a church to go to in this town called Charlotte. I seen one that I thought might be a good-un so I tied the horse to a tree limb and walked up these steps.

Next I went into this big ole buildin’ and sat down in one of them cushiony chairs and it wuz the softest thang and there wuz this big ole platform betwixt me and the back wall yonder…

And I seen this big ole stack made out of these boxes and covered in sparkly fabric sayin’ Marshall on the front and in the middle of this here platform wuz a bunch of these here round thangs with holes straight through ’em…

And I wuz a-feared that I wuz maybe in the wrong place since all of the other folks looked like they were more suited for a motorcycle rally than for church but I waited around anyhow just to see what wuz a comin’…

Then all of a sudden like, somebody somewhere turned out the lights and it was so dark you couldn’t see a thang…then there was the awfullest racket that you’ve never heard in all your born days. And this feller came out from behind this curtain playin’ one of them electrified geetars…

And another feller started beatin’ on what turned out to be drums and I thought my head would vibrate off my shoulders. Then this screetchin’ sound started and it wuz these people singin’ and you never heard such bellerin’…

And then this feller carryin’ a flashlight came up to me and asked me ain’t I enjoyin’ the worship and I said, “What worship?” then he got all red in the face and grabbed me by the collar and showed me to the door and I wuz glad to be a goin’ ’cause I had come there for church but I don’t think there wuz no church a goin’ on there…


Posted by on September 30, 2011 in Uncategorized


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3 responses to “What it Was Was Contemporary Worship (Humor)

  1. Anewsome

    October 1, 2011 at 8:58 pm

    This is very clever and certainly made me smile. 🙂

  2. Truthinator

    October 2, 2011 at 8:34 am

    Thanks, Anewsome. I have always been an Andy Griffith fan. I was discussing with my daughters earlier in the week how much Andy contributed to TV and movies during his career. Then it hit me that a backwoods country boy walking into a contemporary worship setting of today would probably produce the same reaction as the football game did to the character Andy played in “Football” and voila! I am glad you enjoyed this.

    Do you visit Christian content blogs often? Please visit mine any time you wish.

  3. Simon

    October 3, 2011 at 4:30 am

    It sounds like this fella had more sense than most..Andy Griffiths, I remeber him form TV days, when he played a lawyer or something like that, Somehow I think he might still have the good sense to avoid such raucous “worship” events.


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