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New Seeker Sensitive Church Plant Idea (Satire)

30 Aug

 

Introducing the newest and most effective Seeker Sensitive Church Plant idea ever! For only $19.95, you can become a senior pastor of your own Roller Coaster Church Plant. Kit includes construction plans for a roller coaster, signs for posting on uphill portion that give short limerick-style false Gospel presentation, closed circuit camera for capturing photos of the coaster riders with their hands raised thus becoming members of your church plant, and “Carnal Christian” t-shirts to give each rider as they exit the roller coaster so they won’t worry about knowing they are no different than when they got on. Order now and you will also get a nose piercing, crown of thorns tattoo, and an authentic pair of skinny jeans so you will rock their world. Those who order within the next 15 minutes will also receive a “John Piper says I am Doctrinal & Sound” bumper sticker and a “What Would Rick Warren Do” bracelet. Hurry! Place your order now!

“Why didn’t I think of this…every seat is an anxious bench” Charles Finney

“This idea is doctrinal & sound.” John Piper  

“Sometimes, placing a person’s butt in a roller coaster seat and vowing not to let them get off until they make a decision for Christ can move a heart when the Gospel cannot.”  Rick Warren 

“Roller coasters are confusing…who can know what they mean?”  Brian McLaren

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5 Comments

Posted by on August 30, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

5 responses to “New Seeker Sensitive Church Plant Idea (Satire)

  1. SLIMJIM

    August 30, 2012 at 4:04 pm

    This is pretty funny! I like the “anxious bench” the most.

     
    • Truthinator

      August 30, 2012 at 4:25 pm

      Thanks & thanks for visiting again.

       
  2. Simon

    August 31, 2012 at 4:51 am

    I dont think Piper was quoting Edwards on this one:)

     
  3. Jesus Wins

    August 31, 2012 at 8:25 am

    Now that’s going to be a-em, pardon the lingo- hell of a ride with this Roller Coastal Church plant!

     
    • Truthinator

      August 31, 2012 at 9:26 am

      You are good at this, JW. Thanks for contributing.

       

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