Acrid Acronym Anomaly (Humor)

…and in local news, a small group of discernment bloggers from the upper Midwest accidentally entered a National Public Radio compound this morning. It is believed the group was searching for the New Reformation Press but mistakenly entered NPR instead of NRP into their GPS (acronyms are so confusing, who can know what they mean). UN security forces responded immediately with tear gas and rubber bullets to send a clear signal to the bloggers. No one in the NPR building was injured and who cares what may have happened to the discernment bloggers… In national news, President Obama would not answer new questions about …

 

Postmodern Dress Code (Humor)

Visitor: Who is that homeless man on the stage?

Member: That’s not a homeless man, that’s our preacher…

 

Relevance Revisited… (Humor)

I heard that Saddleback was thinking of changing its name …

 

“It Gets Better” Anti-Bullying Bully (Irony)

(Speaker Shouting) “You Christians are a bunch of pansies and your Bible is full of $#&#! You should be more open and tolerant of others, like I am …”

Cost of educating a child from grades 1 – 12: $150,000

Having them be able to see a pin-headed liberal embarrass himself with bigoted hate-speech during his own anti-bullying rally: PRICELESS

Note: Read the story of the real-life event that inspired this bit by going here:      

http://radio.foxnews.com/toddstarnes/top-stories/anti-bullying-speaker-curses-mocks-christian-teens.html

 

Monkey Business (Humor)

Sorry folks, apparently our new humorist only wants to monkey around. It’s been a zoo around here since we hired him. It looks like we’re back to the drawing board. Can you guys recommend a new humorist for Truthinator’s Blog? If you know someone who is funny & works really cheaply, let us know.

 

Truthinator’s Blog Welcomes New Humor/Satirist

Truthinator’s Blog is pleased to announce the addition of a new humor/satirist. We know there will be an immediate improvement in our output. As a matter of fact, we think you’ll go ape over our new material… 

 

Seeker-Sensitive American Idol (Satire)

I don’t know, Dawg, that was a little pitchy. And going with a secular song about lascivious living in God’s house on Sunday morning…no, dawg, that wasn’t good. For me, Dawg, I think you need to repent…

 

Connecting With the Common Man- Word Faith Style (Humor)

“I was sad because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no Lexus…”

 

Emergent Exegetical Preaching (Satire)

“All we are is just a…another brick in the wall.”

 

2012 “30 Pieces of Silver Award” Announcement

The board, staff, and volunteers of Truthinator’s Blog voted for the most ridiculous & totally off-point Easter sermon that we could find in order to award a 30 Pieces of Silver prize. What we noticed is that no single sermon stood out but that many sermons seemed to be very similar to each other.

We have decided to award the dubious honor not to a preacher but to a category. And the winner is…………….

The “Jesus rose from the grave so you could have better ___________” type of sermon. Yes, this type of sermon appeared far too frequently. You can fill in the blank with almost anything because there were some wild ideas exhibited but you can sum it up by saying that many preachers taught that Jesus rose to make our lives better today by allowing us to have better marriages, powerful financial portfolios, and enjoyment of life here on earth.

While some folks will have these things since following the teachings of Christ tends to allow a person to avoid the pitfalls of wasteful and destructive behavior, this is by no means why Christ rose from the grave on Resurrection Day. Not only that but Jesus promised His disciples they would receive persecution and death. He didn’t mention new cars, positive cash flow, or satisfying sex lives.

Belonging to God means being His servant. Life is not about what we can get or how long we can hang onto it. People who are obedient to God sometimes get tragically cut off from life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Temporal things always take a backseat to eternal things. God made Christ who knew no sin to become sin in our place so we could become the righteousness of God in Him. No mention of a Lexus.

Jesus rose on the third day just like He said. That is reason enough for people who are saved to celebrate. Saved people do not need fire-breathing dramatists, scantily clad dancers, 120 decibel guitar riffs, and the like to get excited about the resurrection. You need those things to get people into church who would rather not be there…