Commentators on Acts (Humor)

The local King James Only Baptist Church held a dinner on the ground one Sunday afternoon. The featured activity after the meal was a contest in which entrants were to look like a famous figure from church history. Several reasonable attempts were made by the younger crowd to look like Martin Luther, John Wesley, CH Spurgeon, and others.

After a while, an old farmer dressed in overalls stepped up to the judges. He held out a weathered old ax and dropped a handful of Idaho potatoes on the axhead. The head judge looked cross-eyed at the farmer and said, “What on earth is this supposed to be?” The farmer replied, “Matthew Henry, Warren Wiersbe, and JW McGarvey… commentators on Acts…” The farmer walked away with the blue ribbon.

 

High Caliber P&W (Humor)

“I told you last week, pilgrim, we don’t cotton to new-fangled geetar and praise tunes here at King James Only Baptist Church. Now when that gunshot in your gut heals, you lead us in some hymns…”

Deacon John was more creedal than relational but he always got his point across.

 

Sgt. Relevance

The pastoral team at Seeking Relevance Church donned Sgt. Pepper regalia and quoted Beatles lyrics in an effort to reach their self-absorbed gen X audience. All was going well until Pastor Rob almost choked on a loosened tooth veneer during his “goo goo g’joob” part of I am the Walrus…

 

Emergent Road Sign Shows Way to Heaven (Humor)

Emergent road sign shows way to Heaven…